Category Archives: Joanne

Cold Hard Canyon

The Meanings and Metaphors of “Cold Hard Canyon”

The wind can blow hard in the canyon
When the cold air falls from the sky

When our Arizona monsoons build an anvil out of a cloud it gathers cold air that eventually falls, sometimes at over a hundred miles an hour creating a down-burst of air that is turbulent and violent. The past few years has brought age and great pain to my body that feels at times like an ice cold blast of air is coursing through my body.

I can still feel your heart beating
And taste your warm lips in my sighs

I still feel my youth. It hasn’t disintegrated or disappeared yet, though I suspect it will one day in the no longer distant future. It is something I am trying to accept, fight off, defend and deny all at the same time… usually in this condition I reflexively let out a subconscious sigh.

My lantern is starting to flicker
As the lightening and thunder do clash

canyon moonI have come to realize that the light at the end of this tunnel really is a train, and it is on its way to run me over somewhere in the unknown future. This again creates a polarization of energy in me that feels like lightening and thunder.

The cactus has ripped my old slicker
As the lantern’s obscured by the sky

As my joints wear out and arthritis is taking a hold of my knees and my wrist (making it very hard to play the guitar and dance) it feels like cactus needles poking into my flesh. At times like this I find it very hard to bring forth the virility and youthful feeling that is still residing in my bones.

Whoopee tie yie yo get along little doggies
I’ve got a long way to go
Whoopee tie yie yo get along little doggies
Tucson was never your home

I have know for too many years that the earth and my current physicality is temporary, thus, “Tucson Was Never Your Home”. This makes me feel like I need to whip things into a frenzy around me because time is running out. Oh I may have decades still to live (or may not), but my youth is dissipating and I feel like I need to capture all of the moments I can before it is all gone. There are so many things I still want to do. “Let’s dance, come on get that right! Turn it on let’s go!” At times I feel bad for Joanne, because since I drive myself so hard, even though I try not to, I sometimes drive her too hard as well.

The storm makes the cattle so restless
The darkness makes them hard to read

canyon lightWhen I slip out of the brilliant light of my own existence I almost always screw something up and make a mess. I slip into the darkness that resides in my artist and I lose track of what and who is real sometimes and it begins to feel like everything is dark, even though it is just me that is out of the light.

So I’m sitting low in the saddle
Praying that they don’t stampede

Sometimes in a crowd, I withdraw into myself for fear I will say the wrong thing and piss someone off. Too often I am quite frank in my observations, and I have a knack for being observant.

I’m holding a torch for your love here
Like a match in a cold hurricane

I have come to learn that even though love is abundant, it is not always easy to keep a relationship together, consequently I hold my love for Joanne in the highest of esteem I honor and guard it like a knight errant wanting to preserve and hold it sacred for as long as we may freely love one another.

My light is a bright yellow lantern
That’s pelted by cold winter rain

cactus canyonThere is that dimming light again. I am trying so hard to accept the inevitability of my aging without capitulating to becoming the same old man my elders were. I am determined to stay in shape to the best my body and pains will allow, but lately the pain is frequently making me back away during a workout.

Repeat Chorus…

I look through the night to tomorrow
Seeing the depth of your soul

I see Joanne and how she loves me, she loves my artist, all of him. I have never been so fully accepted by any other person (except maybe my daughter). I feel for her, she didn’t choose a rich man, or a successful business man that put money away for his old age. I worry sometimes that I will not be able to provide what she needs as she ages… and then she shows me once again, that not only is she capable of taking care of her own future, she loves me just as I am and she happily shares all she has and makes with me.

Rusty-Good-smallKnowing I’d beg steal or borrow
To warm you when you are cold

Repeat Chorus…

Thank you for loving me Joanne, I will do what ever it takes to keep you safe, happy and well traveled!

I love you Joanne Lee Canalli!

balcony view Maui 2007

Souvenirs

balcony view Maui 2007

Maui 2007

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There’s a cup on the counter that proves you were here
A gentle reminder of what once was was clear
Should it be in the sink or with my souvenirs?

The bed is a wreck where you once slept
The love that we shared there it made such a mess
The sheets are reminders of something we kept

I’ve got this feeling that you won’t be back
Is this a pain in my chest or a heart attack
As it stabs my truth or or was that my back

Chorus:
But what I collect now are lines on my face
The gray in my hair it is no disgrace
Its one more reminder of these past few years
Should I wash these sheets or put them with my souvenirs?

There’s a cheap little magnet that I bought in Perth
It pays rent in the kitchen for all that it’s worth
It lights up a spot for all that come here
But it earns its keep among my souvenirs

There’s a folder on my desktop from Portland I think
It’s real swell reminder if I want to wink
At the time spent with you that took all these years
It stands in the my life amoung my souvenirs

But what I collect now are lines on my face
The gray in my hair it is no disgrace
Its one more reminder of these last few years
Should I wash these sheets or put them with my souvenirs?

Tango Atlanta GA

What do we do for and encore?


A tribute to a five year partnership… thank you Joanne!

This song was written and recorded in one take. There was no script, melody or outline, just me a guitar and a microphone, pure stream of consciousness.

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Its a good day to show you the best and worst that I feel
Cause I’m feeling bad and it’s such a deal…
Its a good day to tell you exactly what I’ve on my mind
Cause I’ve got you on my mind and I’m still on my time
Leaving my heart up there on my sleeve
Just won’t stop the way that it bleeds

They always told me that nothing would do what I do
And a moment is something that I wish I could do
Besides all the laughter what did we gain?
Besides all the bleeding why is there pain

What do we do for an encore when encores are all that we do?
How do we take a bow for all we’ve been through?
Lessoned by hope and learning by time leading my answers one at a time
I’m losing my dreams again here in the night

Tango Atlanta GA

Tango Atlanta GA


Relax and hold on just let it go
These words comfort a place in my soul
Crowded by new beginnings shoved into old endings

What do you do for an encore when encors are all that you do?
Where do you bleed when your heart’s on your sleeve?
Whose got the truth whose got their needs?
And we’ve got nothign but time on our hands
And the time is running away from me here my friend

What do we encore with nothign to do?
Who do we turn to when nothing is turning to you?
Its belief in my heart that tells me I must let it go
Playing again playing playing so slow

Its just another waltz and a waltz is all I can play
And a good waltz ended I danced to it many days
So long farewell to my old best friend
Hello and hope are all that I have in the end

Turning my heart away from my sleeve
I might seem cold but this is the thing that I need
Watching you run through the reasons you are
Letting me know that your gone by the sound of your car
And the whole world is watching thanks to the tricks that you use
I guess times have changed and this is the way breakups do

What do you do for an encore when encores are all that you know how to do
And what do you with your love when you love is now through
Where do you go for an answer to questions you feel
When you know the answer the answer is sit here and heal

Watching beginnings crash to the end
Watching my love roll down the street once again
Who did what and what was that thing that you said
If we’re all running then who is that lying in bed

What do you do for and encore when encores are all that you do
Who do you turn to when questions are what you produce
Where do you put all the love thats not used today
Like minutes on cell phones the love it just goes away

What do we do for and encore…. the whole world is watching!!!

There’s A Whole


A hole in me created by the knowledge of all of
our mistakes
our deficits
our fears
our ignorance
our blind capitulate compromise

I am sometimes so affected by the world around me I have to expound and expel the feelings so I can move forward… I am okay now…

Ah…
the power of writing…
I touched on what was really happening for me here:

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Wild Aussie Rose

For My Sweet Joanne… just a cute little diddy!

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Check out Rusty’s Aphorisms

Life really is the best thing that can happen to a guy like me!

Waters to Rivers

I Love You, Jo!

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Written to my best friend and lover, Joanne Canalli. After two years of dancing and traveling together we met in Maui the summer of 2006 and I finally surrendered to the inevitable love we built for two years. Every day I wake up thankful that I could attract such a quality and peaceful human being into my life…
I love you Joanne!!

Always… All Ways,
Rusty