The title is the gist, a world that’s full of peace and I feel crazy. All the many things that make life interesting can be painful at the same time. I wrote this song in the zone. I did not write it with intention or purpose, rather I wrote it as a question. Why do I feel crazy sometimes? Am I crazy?
So often I can feel a world that is desperately trying to be at peace with itself, but there always seems to be a tempest just behind the peace. This world is filled with so much destruction and damage that humans have done to one another, the atmosphere, the landscape even deep in the planet, the oceans and all of the life forms here in, everything now seems to be negatively impacted by humans. Yet, it stands to reason that on a planet where everything living, lives by consuming something that has died, there would be a lot of violence. There have always been people killing one another. One of the first stories in the bible is of Cain killing Abel. Even children stand up in school and shoot their classmates out of rage or insanity.
Why? Where does it all come from? Ask a Jew a Muslim or a Christian and they are likely to tell you it comes from original sin, or they might say it is from the devil. Hindus and Buddhists might say it is the karmic consequence of all of our behavior and choices. I believe karma is closer to the answer, but it must be deeper. I mean we don’t intentionally mean to destroy everything, look at the beauty we have created on purpose. Look at our art or inventions and their original intent – most of them anyway. I truly think we mean well overall as a species. But what choices do we have when we need to kill something in order to survive?
A vegan might say “Ah, but you don’t have to kill something to stay alive.” On the surface that might be true, but I would argue that something had to die in order for whatever it is you are eating to have come into existence. I read about a vegan that started her own garden and was flabbergasted to find that her soil needed some bone meal and some dead organics in order for it to have the nutrients it needed. So maybe I don’t have to kill it, but something has died in order for this planet to have so many diverse lifeforms. The myocilin and bacterium take a dead thing and makes nutrients. Nothing can survive without something else dying. In the big picture it is because of entropy.
Entropy is the chaos in an organized system. All of our systems utilize heat and heat destroys. We shed skin cells because they are being destroyed by the environment. Our organs are constantly having to renew themselves because of cells that get worn out from pumping and filtering with heating and cooling. This entropy ultimately leads to death in all organisms – on this planet anyway.
Our problem might be a lack of understanding or acceptance of death. If death is such a crucial part of life and living, why are we so obsessed with it? How can we sanctify life and still embrace death? Why do we flinch when in its presence? Why do we dodge it so? Why are there so many studies on why, how, who, where, when someone or something dies. There are so many data that you can find them from apple to zebras all about how and why they died. I know people that live as though this were a game of whomever lives the longest wins. We are obsessed with not dying. And yet if we won this battle against death, in no time at all, there would be nothing but humans on the planet, you wouldn’t even be able to see the surface of the planet it would be covered with people. I make this statement based on the exponential effect of something constantly doubling without depletion.
Religious philosophers tell me that God has a handle on all this and God will fix it. Without terraforming planets for us, even God couldn’t prevent overpopulation, including in heaven. Space as we know it and occupy it is limited by its size and since two three dimensional objects can’t occupy the same space, eventually there will be overpopulation. This means that death is an integral and important part of being in any three dimensional space. I mean we can’t just keep filling up space.
All of this makes me feel a little crazy. Then I see the world we have created for ourselves and I am blown away at how we are able to feed clothe and house so many here on earth. I’ve been to India and seen hovels so flimsy and crumbly I was amazed they could stand, I have seen neighborhoods where nothing but castles are built. This wonderland of amazement and creation is a playground where we fill our sand boxes with everything we believe in, then if we believe in it enough we make magic happen. It is truly amazing.
The thing I find the most remarkable are the souls that become addicted to power and money. They will launch wars and genocide. They will myriads of unscrupulous things just to gain a little more of each. They will put another human being on the curb with nowhere to live just because of money. We will do the most ridiculous and perverse things just for power and greed. This avorice is not just human, chimps do it and so do lots of species. They will go to war over territory, food and space – which I suppose would be power in their domains. But I reiterate how else would you expect life to behave when something must die to purport its very existence.
What if the real problem here is we do not know how to resolve this death paradox? Or perhaps the afterdeath dilemma? So many religions and philosophies paint a target on death as the reason to subscribe to their beliefs. But they are using our fear of death or our desire for an eternal reward as a sales pitch for taking on their beliefs. Then others say all we need to do is be at peace with the transition. The later makes the most sense to me which is why Buddhists and Eastern Zen philosophies resonate with my accepting soul.
As I reach an age where death is more and more likely to come calling, I am finding that being a part of self replicating biological system brings me a lot of peace. However coming from a Christian background I am consistently drawn back into wanting consciousness beyond death, I long for some knowing, not just that my molecules lasting in a system, but my awareness that they do. Yet there are too many holes in the reincarnation or resurrection or rebirth theories. I will continue to seek peace and live in peace, peace with you and with my death and my insanity. Thank you for reading and listening. I wish I had some answers for you.